


Found

by menecio



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Open to Interpretation, POV James T. Kirk, Possibly Pre-Slash, Star Trek Beyond, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 13:50:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13366050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/menecio/pseuds/menecio
Summary: Immediately after the defeat of Balthazar “Krall” Edison, Kirk has a breakdown. McCoy and Spock are there to hold him through it.





	Found

McCoy parks the drone ship away from the Central Plaza. The landing is rough, and they skid a couple of metres before the vessel grinds to a stop. For a second, there is silence except for their labored breathing. Then McCoy is moving, clambering off the strange driver’s seat and pawing at the walls. He mutters, then grunts, then punches a display out of the way before continuing his search. There is a sudden snap and hiss in the cockpit, and the hatch opens. Warm light reminiscent of Earth’s sun filters in along with a heady rush of air.

Kirk winces at the brightness but makes no move to shield his eyes. He staggers out after McCoy, then helps Spock climb off the ship. There’s blood in his mouth, and the metallic taste of it makes his stomach roil—he remembers Edison’s bloodied teeth, reddened drool clinging to the corners of his unkind lips. Kirk guides Spock to lean against him, and the contact grounds him.

“Well,” Jim says.

He shrugs with the shoulder that isn’t propping Spock up as if to proclaim that hey, that wasn’t so bad, or at least it could have been worse. McCoy glares at his unspoken words. For what’s worth, he’s right.

Spock leans a bit more heavily into Kirk, a palm pressed to his still tender side. Kirk wraps an arm around him and leans into him with a sigh. What a mess they are, needing each other to do something as simple as staying upright.

Now that the danger’s past, Kirk can admit that he’s tired. But he’s also glad it’s over and that everyone he loves is all right. A selfish thought, seeing how not everyone made it—he thinks of the _Enterprise_ ’s scattered remains and his heart wilts—but he will take his comfort where he can, even if it’s based on selfish reasons.

With immense care, Spock steps away from Kirk with a small nod, posture still hunched despite his best efforts. Kirk nods back, tugging at his jacket and shifting onto the leg that isn’t sending waves of pain up his spine every time he rests his weight on it. He looks at McCoy, who is looking at both captain and first officer as if they were the biggest pain in the quadrant but also fragile and in need of his protection. When he catches McCoy’s eyes, Kirk smiles.

McCoy stares at him for a whole six seconds, as if he weren’t quite sure what the upward curve of Kirk’s lips means. Finally, McCoy’s own lips curve downward, and with a tiny shake of the head, he says, “Dammit, Jim.”

Kirk huffs a laugh because, really, good old McCoy, hilarious even when he doesn’t mean to be. The chuckle turns into a sort of breathless giggle. If someone asked Kirk to describe what his lungs are doing right then, he would say they were short-circuiting. He finds that funny too, and tries to tell McCoy about it, because he’s a doctor and he might have a medical joke about the way Jim’s innards feel as if he’s stepped barefoot into an electrified shower.

Before he knows it, Kirk is sobbing. The galaxy rolls off his back and pools at his feet, and he finds that he does not have the strength to pick it back up. He presses a hand to his temple and tries to keep it together. His head’s pounding hard enough to make the world sway.

With a soft but heartfelt curse, McCoy pulls Kirk into a hug and holds him there. Kirk cries into his blue collar, getting the crook of his friend’s neck damp and disgusting. McCoy keeps his arms wrapped tight around him as he helps Kirk lower himself to the ground, running a hand up and down his back.

“It’s okay, Jim, just breathe. It’s fine,” McCoy says. “It’s over.”

What if it isn’t over, though? It’s so easy, being a captain when all you have to do is protect your people from the monsters lurking around the universe, but what happens when the demons are self-made? They were already faced with that when they went toe-to-toe with Khan and Admiral Marcus. This is old news, yet Kirk is scared. He had been too, back then, but this time it feels closer to home.

Because he saw so much of Edison in himself. They were different where it counted, he wants to think, but they were also very similar. They were both lost. Kirk can still see Edison’s face in his captain’s logs, the growing emptiness in his eyes, the silent plea that went unheard, and he sees himself. He hears his own voice saying ‘episodic’ with a touch of resigned disdain, none of the zeal and passion from three years ago in his tone.

Kirk wonders what he will find if he listens to his recordings in reverse, last to first. Will he listen to himself come back to life the further back he goes, or will it be just an endless string of tired-sounding logs? An endless string of silent pleas hidden under his reports?

He is scared of what he might find.

“Easy does it, Jim,” McCoy is saying, one hand rubbing circles on his back as the other holds him close. Kirk shifts so his forehead is pressed against McCoy’s collarbone, snuffling and trying to control his breathing. “Nice and easy, there we go.”

Kirk feels more than sees Spock kneel down next to them. He snuffles and turns his head, squinting at his first officer through the tears. His eyes feel bloated, and half of his face is stiff and throbbing from the punches Edison landed. He must look terrible, but Spock’s gaze holds no judgement. It flickers down, and the next thing Kirk knows, two fingers press against the back of his hand. They don’t move in soothing circles the way McCoy’s hand is, but the effect is the same.

Kirk’s lip quivers and he makes a small pathetic sound, turning his hand so it’s palm-up. After a moment, Spock’s palm slots against his, pressing down, solid and steady like few things ever are. McCoy sighs against Kirk’s hair, the action more of a grunt than anything.

“We got you, Jim,” McCoy says.

It doesn’t take a conscious effort to believe the truth of McCoy’s words. He doesn’t doubt it, nor the thunderous agreement that Spock echoes through their touching hands. For the first time in what his brains says has been years, Kirk feels safe. But more importantly, he feels _found_. And he isn’t so scared anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago as a casual warm-up/character exploration of sorts because I find the subtle parallelism between Kirk and Edison super interesting. Whether the fic is pre-slash or not is up to the audience. Thank you for reading, and let me know what you think!


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